Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, discovers vampires are planning to take over the United States. He makes it his mission to eliminate them. The premise may have worked in print as written by Seth Grahame-Smith but it fails miserably on the big screen. Filmmakers Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov take themselves far too seriously while the cast is wooden and bland. The terrifying creatures of the night are visceral and bloodthristy but not really all that scary. Apparently the undead made up the entire southern army. The special effects are decent and reminiscent of Burton's Dark Shadows, which at least had Johnny Depp and a few good jokes. Vampire Hunter should have a stake through it!
Personal Note: I did see this weak and laughable movie. I went as an homage to the Harvard Square Cinema, an institution for 28 years in Cambridge, which closes 7/8/12. Why? So Apple or another large chain can open? The Square has lost it's eclectic flavor and mirrors every vanilla mall across America. Freddie Taylor I salute your vision. I will miss the broken seats and lack of a first floor bathroom. See you on the 7th for the last Rocky Horror Picture show.
