The Dark Knight Rises

Will the 10am show at The Fenway be safer than the midnight show in Aurora, Colorado? Will The Dark Knight Rises deliver the goods? Yes and no. Each Batman movie seems to be tainted by a tragedy of one sort or another. Loosing the talented Heath Ledger before the opening of The Dark Knight, and now the insane shooting in Colorado. These tragedies highlight the fact that as bad as it is, and it's bad, this is still only a movie.

Beyond the creative opening scene, reminiscent of a James Bond opening, The Dark Knight Rises is a long, dark slog through Gotham (aka Manhattan). With a cast including big name Hollywood talents like Christian Bale, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Marion Cotillard, Gary Oldham, Tom Hardy, Anne Hathaway and The Batman, how could Christopher Nolan have gone so wrong?

The movie's back and forth between subplots and scenes can make one batty. Is it day or night? What season is it? Are we in the city or a hole in the desert? How long do we have until that nuclear bomb goes off? The use of space & time is erratic. The action is diminished by the constant scene changes.

The shots of lower Manhattan with it's bridges blowing up and New York's finest trapped underground in the subway are reminiscent of 9/11. Yet any connection is lost in the confusion of this big, brash movie. The nuclear ending is contrived and serves only to set up the Batman and "Robin" sequel.

The Dark Knight rises is an action film of epic yet empty proportions.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Movies of a certain age in Harvard Square. Who knew this was in our backyard for 28 years? Drunken, scantily clad crowd makes up for Security lines. Show sufficiently sexual. Muppets meet porn meets Fuck Your Mother. The Time Warp is the Hokey Pokey with grinding. Miss Saradon (slut), "I loved you in The Rocky Horror Picture Show". There are no phones in castles, only tranies. You'd know the script too if you attended 250+ times. I am no longer a virgin. For the rest of you who have not popped the cherry, the show re-opens in Boston on 8/4/12. Gary will in Spanx, I'll be in Hanky Panky. RHPS lives, if you can stay awake.

SAVAGES

Savages, the sex and drugs hyped thriller from three-time Oscar winning director Oliver Stone, can not sustain the high. Who took the meeting when it was decided to put an all star cast, including John Travolta, Salma Hayek, and Benicio Del Toro, around Gossip Girl airhead Blake Lively? The girl can't act, how can she be expected to generate any sort of empathy when captured by the Mexican drug cartel! Ben & Chon, her boutique boyfriends from Laguna Beach, grow designer grass and are shocked when the big guys want a split. The cross and double cross as they jockey to free lovely Ophelia falls flat. No buzz here. Any homage to Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction goes puff. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly-esque shoot out ending is a drag. Stone's double ending bone bombs. Savages blows a lot of smoke and never hits pay dirt. A weed kill if I ever saw one. Inhale at your own risk.

TED

Ted is the perfect mix of childhood fantasy, bad taste, and Boston! When I heard myself guffawing at fart jokes, pot jokes, and pussy jokes, I realized I was channeling my inner 13 year old boy. I was thoroughly enjoying Mark Walhberg (still hot), a teddy bear (Ted), and shots of my hometown (South End, Hatch Shell, Cambridge).


The movie premise being that as the result of a childhood wish, John Bennett's teddy bear, Ted, comes to life and has been by John's side ever since - a friendship that's tested when Lori (Mila Kunis), John's girlfriend of four years, wants more from their relationship. This comedy by "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane keeps the bad jokes coming while taking you on a visual tour of Boston not seen since The Town. (Ted also utilizes fabulous Fenway for it's tragi-comi ending.) Somehow there is a sweet love story thrown in the mix. 

Ted, unlike Trix, is not for kids but rather adults who still have some juvenile at haaart (sp).